Yes, these are the sorts of names we pick out for characters. All things considered, it’s probably for the best that we don’t have any children.

Speaking of sniffing, it’s devil-plant-blooming time here in the Lone Star State. I have seasonal allergies, and if you don’t know what those are, let me explain it to you by way of your friend and mine, the metaphor. Imagine joy. Okay, now imagine if your life never, ever had that in it. That’s seasonal allergies.

I don’t think that’s actually a proper metaphor, but I’m too busy hacking, scratching, sniffling, and bemoaning my¬†continued existence to care.