Oh, hey. Continuity. Neat.

It is my experience that cats do two things: destroy the things you love and convince you that you shouldn’t hurl them off the nearest available bridge. The trick of it is that they spend about 80% of their time doing the latter. It’s that false sense of security they construct that proves our undoing. That delicate, furry, purring web of deceit and lies they weave around your mind, lulling you into a confused state that your ill-equipped simian brain recognizes as “love.” Then, while that’s distracting you, they spend the remaining 10% of their time breaking all your shit.

Hrm? “That should be twenty percent?” Oh, that missing 10% is the time they spend pooping. Cats love to poop.