If there is only one constant in humankind’s boundless history, it’s ugly terracotta pots.

Now, I know what this looks like. Sure, it may seem dangerously irresponsible to blast underpaid, under-trained ship workers out of a spaceship without any warning. Let me just take a moment to assure you that this is a tried and true testing method that was revised to perfection at the Earth shipyards many, many years ago. What looks like chaos to you is merely the result of your untrained eye gazing upon the majesty of Earth’s state-of-the-art training methodology.

I mean, they got those drills down to an impressive 76% mortality rate, so I think they know what they’re doing over there, okay?