That’s not nearly as profound as it sounds. Life is rarely a lot of things.

Life, for example, has never been a traffic cone. It’s never been a short-order cook. Life has not taken the form of fly fishing, the Amazon river, or that┬áconfused disorientation of not knowing what time it is when you accidentally take a nap on Saturday and wake up in the middle of the night. Just because you say something in a brief, succinct manner doesn’t mean you’re being profound, Dana. I could say “cats are short,” but that doesn’t make me any more insightful than a stop sign.

Sheesh. Captains, am I right? Think they’re sooooo important.