He’s more beard, now, than man. Twisted and evil.

Man, really? A Star Wars quote is the best I have for my joke, here? Maaaaaan. I thought I was better than that. No witticism? No non-sequitur? No funny anecdote? Not even just the word “farts” over and over again? Ugh. Just a Star Wars quote. And not even a particularly notable or interesting one.

Well, maybe I can get away from cheap references and salvage this with a bit of meta-commentary. Better work, because this is my last, best hope for a decent joke.

Oh, god dammit.