It’s not that all lingo born from technology is stupid, just most of it.

Capcom saw fit to release some more details on Street Fighter 5 yesterday, presumably because E3 is nigh upon us. Normally, I try to temper my expectations in life. The higher you place something on a pedestal, the more readily it will murder you when it falls on your head, after all. But the torch I carry for those silly games is Olympic-sized, so right now my hype-o-meter is teetering somewhere between “completely fucking absurd” and “Star Wars fan.”

It’s the goofiest shit, too. I spent my lunch break ruthlessly scrubbing through the frames of a YouTube video to see how much meter Ryu builds when he whiffs a Dragon Punch because, fuck, man, that shit is important for reasons I’m incapable of articulating properly and oh god is it 2016 yet.

I mean, seriously, why do they even make other video games?