I’m reasonably certain I had something incredibly clever to put here. The nag of this nagging feeling is intense enough that it must be true. However, between my incredibly clever thought and the keyboard, I reheated some pizza. I’m having a hard time recalling the incredibly clever thought because my world just inverted itself. The earth parted, the skies turned purple, and all of the cosmos laid itself bare before me, because I just learned something that changed everything. A Great and Terrible secret that cuts through the haze of life, leaving only a wondrous truth shining like a pepperoni-laden beacon of truth.

You can reheat pizza in a toaster oven.

I grew up in a house with a microwave. Today, I learned I was living a lie. Leftover pizza does not go into a microwave. That way lies soggy crust and general awfulness. But a toaster oven? The pizza is reborn. It is pizza arisen from the cold, cold ashes of refrigeration, soaring forth to crispy glory. Pizza anew.

I was born many years ago, but only from this day forward am I truly living.