Remember, when dealing with a five-year-old, the best thing you can do is condescend. They respond super well to it. Trust me.

Or don’t. Actually, I make it something of a personal policy to never trust people who say “trust me.” (Or, as in this case, write it, I suppose.) That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t trust people, of course. And you can certainly trust me. I’m just saying that I would. Trust┬ápeople. Me especially. For reasons.

But you go ahead! It’ll be fine, I’m sure. Just. Fine.