Barreled past “in trouble,” tripped over “utter catastrophe,” and crashed head first into “deep shit.”

Which, if I’m being honest, really sounds excessive. Even just being in “shallow shit” wouldn’t be a good time. I mean I get freaked out when I just get a little shit on my shoe. Shit’s almost a binary thing, in that way. Absent any shit? Life is roses. Even just the tiniest little bit of shit? Throw those roses into the incinerator.

Man, shit, why you gotta ruin everything? This is why nobody likes you.