I’m a fan of coffee. Kind of a big one. Hence this comic’s pro-coffee agenda.

It’s not that I’m addicted. I could quit anytime. I’ll quit right now, even. Boom. I quit. See? Easy. And now I unquit. Boom. Time to have some tasty coffee. Could an addicted person do that? No. They’re addicted. And I’m clearly not an addict because I just quit.

Besides, coffee is good for you. Well, maybe not for you, but it’s good for me. Why? Simple. I like it. Drinking it is one of the Five Pleasures of Life. Why would I deny myself a simple pleasure? That’s something a crazy person would do. Which is further proof I’m not addicted, because I’m not crazy, because I’m not doing something a crazy person would do.

I’m not addicted.