Sorry, Dana. ParentsĀ are never cool. Even when they have spaceships full of people they get to push around. It’s just one of the great immutable laws of the universe.

I mean, hell, why do you think I never had kids? You have kids, you can’t be cool. No kids? Cool forever, baby. And that’s me, jack.

Me and my webcomic. And my Macross figures. And my cat named after a Cardassian spy.

Cool forever.